Would I date a girl with a high body count? What are my concerns?

I wouldn’t judge or reject someone if they’ve had a bit of a sexual past. I am concerned about the following;

1. Does she have any STI’s?
2. Will she compare me to previous partners?
3. Is she still in love with her exes?
4. Can she be trusted or can she get any guy she want? Will I be seen as ‘just another option’ (no-one wants to feel like that)?
5. Does she have baggage about men & think all men are bad?
6. Will she judge me for having had less action (if you’re not good I’ll leave for a ‘bigger better deal’)?

If the answer is ‘no’ to any of these questions then I’d be happy to date someone regardless of their past.

Conclusion

If you’re a woman reading this who’s had a lot of boyfriends &/or one night stands, don’t get cross, acknowledge; many guys have these same concerns. Should the topic of past relationships come up, be honest & acknowledge concerns. You’ll only get passed if you don’t answer ‘no’ or tell lies.

See also

What if I have a high body count? Is it a turn-off to men?

Thoughts on ‘men can’t show emotion’ (rant)

Could you imagine being in a relationship whereby you feel you cannot express ANY difficult emotion or are struggling in some way, or have worries, or are upset about something for fear she would lose attraction for you, or see you as ‘less of a man’? To me, that sounds like MISERY. I don’t want to be with someone I can’t be myself ‘warts and all’ with, someone I feel I have to act.

This ‘stiff upper lip’ goes too far but has its place

The battlefield, the fishing boat, hunting, the coal mine, the mountain rescue crew, the steel worker, the lifeboat crew, this is where ‘stoic in the face of adversity’ has it’s place.

How many relationships are unhappy because of this?

I couldn’t imagine anything more miserable than being with someone who you feel you’ve got to put on an act. I can’t imagine living in fear that someone would leave you if you dare let them know you’re worried about something, you’re upset about something. Shouldn’t your significant other be there for you through ‘thick and thin’? Shouldn’t they care about you?

How many men develop mental health problems and addictions because of this?

Men are told;

• No-one cares for you
• You’re on your own
• If you have a problem deal with it, no-one cares or wants to know
• If you’re upset, worried about something, a woman will see you as a pussy
• Any woman would see you as a pussy beta male
• If you cry you’ll be seen as pathetic, weak
• Needing someone to talk to and confide in (a good friend, family member, counsellor) is a sign of weakness

Gosh it’s no wonder the rates of suicides among men are higher than among women. It’s no wonder men are more likely to turn to ‘drowning their sorrows’ or other substances or acting out angrily.

Conclusion

We’re all humans, we all need to be understood & accepted for who we are. We all need relationships whereby we can feel comfortable being vulnerable without fear of being judged. This is not an attack on masculinity or femininity, this is acknowledgement of truths.

Why men prefer Asian women over ‘modern’ western women

Some may have heard of ‘passport bros.’ Some of you from the UK or USA may well have noticed that young women from places like Thailand and the Philippines are nicer. It’s not because these women are ‘submissive’, ‘uneducated’, ‘poor’ or whatever silly stereotypes. Instead of shaming men, listen to the reasons they cite.

Why men prefer Asian women over ‘modern’ women; what traits are more common among them?

• They’re kinder
• They’re sweeter
• They’re less shallow and materialistic
• They’re less judgemental & likely to give people benefit of doubt; meet halfway
• They don’t have the princess syndrome & sense of entitlement
• They don’t have that combative attitude
• They’re humble, not arrogant and full of themselves
• They don’t ‘act tough’
• They don’t see sleeping around as empowering
• They’re more feminine
• They don’t have crazy checklists and standards & for sensible things
• They’re more co-oparative
• They more respectful towards men (& people in general)
• They stick through thick and thin

What things do men dislike about ‘modern’ western women; what traits that are common among them?

• Acting tough
• Shallowness and materialism
• Entitlement and princess syndrome
• Judgemental attitudes
• Arrogance
• Combative and argumentative
• Lacking in kindness & compassion
• They have extremely stringent checklists; focused on superficial things
• Having a high body count (isn’t a deal-breaker, for those who’re worried)
• Disrespectful to men (& people in general)
• Rude!

In conclusion

Instead of shaming men who find those foreign women more appealing why not ask yourself ‘hmm, what is it about those women men like? What could I do differently (hint, it’s in the links)?’ How could I be a better person? Shaming is based from fear; you have two options; ‘what is it men like about them, what am I not doing or doing wrong?’ OR ‘You’re all creeps and predators who want weak women’ (that won’t make men more attracted to you). I hope this helps. I’m not generalising, I’m saying certain traits are more common among certain groups. To deny it is denying the sky is blue.

Where can one find this type of girl?

When thinking about what you want in a partner it’s easier to think of wat you don’t want rather than what you do. Where can one find a girl in her 20’s or 30’s who fits the description below. Where can one find the sort of girl..

• who’s pretty
• nice
• Easy to talk to
• treats people with kindness, courtesy & respect
• Isn’t a bimbo; doesn’t think her good looks excuse treating people with kindness and respect
• doesn’t judge people by the amount of friends they have, is willing to get to know
• doesn’t judge people by not having had many partners, is willing to get to know
• who doesn’t write people-off for the work the do, is willing to get to know
• doesn’t talk about people behind their backs or gossip
• isn’t two-faced
• Isn’t a thot; doesn’t use her looks to manipulate guys for selfish ends (big turn-off)
• isn’t a gold digger
• Isn’t an attention whore; doesn’t use social media in that way
• Doesn’t have kids (compromisable)
• Is single (fat chance)

In conclusion

Where can one find a girl I’ve described in that age range who fits the description? Do they exist? Even in England or America? I look for the qualities in a prospective partner I’d look for in a friend beyond finding her pretty. Not saying girls like I’ve described don’t exist, but they’re so vanishingly rare (single ones at least) that the chances of encountering one are slim to none. All I need is EVIDENCE that SUCH GIRLS EXIST, even in Anglo-America. Single parents could be an option as long as there isn’t the dealing with the exes, comparisons with previous partners, or being roped into a situation I’m not ready for yet (realistic in England or America). These are basically my standards.

What do I find off-putting in online dating profiles as a guy?

Browsing through profiles on online dating sites, the vast majority are off-putting and have me clicking ‘skip/next’, there’s the occasional nice girl who seems genuine and has things to relate to that I feel inclined to like or message, otherwise it’s like sifting through a rubbish bin of pretty pics and nothing else.

What do I find off-putting? What makes me click ‘next’?

• Not having anything but emojis and ‘message me’
• Lack of things to start a conversation over
• Arrogance
• Boasting
• Excess focus on career and goals; can make you come across as judgemental (not in a way to find common ground, interesting conversation; ‘I’m this level, I want you to be, because I’m so awesome kind of thing, massive turnoff)
• Lack of humility or a kind side
• Being a narcissist
• Giving generic lists

If you area girl and are sick of ‘hey babe’ type messages, what can you do differently?

Stop trying to emulate what’s ‘cool’ and be your fucking self! Most guys who’d be willing to get to know you will simply click ‘next’ if there’s nothing to connect with or if you come across as shallow. You get out what you put in. If you want to rely on looks but have nothing else (we used to call such girls bimbos at school, & call it bimbo-ism). Do something differently. Put the bloody effort in. Answer the prompt questions that many dating sites offer.

In conclusion

The profiles I want to click ‘next’ on outnumber the ones I want to like and people I want to message by a large margin. No amount of pretty pictures would make-up for what I’m describing above. For the UK and USA, it’s like sieving through a rubbish bin. I hate to be so bloody blunt.

Common assumptions guys have about pretty women+why pretty women may not get approached

I’ve heard anecdotes that apparently attractive girls don’t get approached or asked out, or only by the types that they’re not interested in. If you’re an attractive girl and either rarely get approached for conversation, or only get approached by the sorts of guys that you’re not interested in, it might be helpful to be aware of and bear in mind some common assumptions that a lot of guys hold about good-looking women.

Common assumptions guys have about pretty women

• She must have a boyfriend
• She’s probably got tons of guys interested in her already; won’t notice me
• She’s probably super-picky & shallow; the idea that the prettier=more shallow
• She’s probably unfriendly & stuck-up
• She’s probably harshly judgemental

This is a fact. Lots of guys assume these, these are common.

Where do these beliefs stem from?

• Early experiences of ‘mean girl’ types in school or college
• Mens dating advice (needs a whole post & rant)
• Examples from social media; e.g. the selfie queens & types that use their looks for attention, admiration and power (don’t do this, you’re giving pretty women a BAD NAME)
• Anecdotes from mens rights forums from disgruntled guys
• Confirmation bias+examples; the tendency to focus on examples that support those beliefs; e.g. you come across someone who’s hot and stuck-up, that’s evidence that ‘all’ are

“I always used to think that you were above me, I was only fooling myself to thing you’d love me”

Cliff Richard; Congratulations (catchy tune from the 1960’s)

If you are a pretty woman, how can you avoid guys assuming these things about you?

• Wipe off that scowl RIGHT NOW! No-one finds that attractive! Neutral expression
• Try smiling at passers-by when they smile at you (or at least acknowledging their presence)! the old cliché
• Don’t bury your head in your phone; applies to both sexes

In conclusion

These things are commonly assumed by guys about attractive girls & are reasons why many men simply don’t start conversations, send messages or invite you out. Bear in mind, that if you’re good-looking, you have the hottest butt in the tightest leggings, it’s not always going to get you what you want, there are many negative stereotypes about good-looking women to be mindful of. Don’t behave in ways reinforce them!! It’s more important that you treat people right & are a decent person. Being hot & healthy is a good thing but should NEVER be abused for attention & power. The above assumptions are what I believe to be key reasons many guys simply don’t even say hello, give first messages, or ask out. I’m sure you wouldn’t want guys around you assuming those things about you without evidence?

Thoughts on dating advice that says ‘people without friends are a red flag’

Sometimes I like to look at dating advice videos and articles when I have an idle moment, such as ‘things girls find attractive’, ‘things guys find attractive’, ‘red flags’ etc. Some points that come up I agree with, others I don’t. One thing I have seen seen come-up that makes me quite angry is saying that someone without friends is red flag. This makes me angry.

I wouldn’t judge people by the number of friends they have or jump to cynical conclusions

I know there’s tons of reasons people can end-up without friends. Many of us go through phases in our lives when we don’t have friends. It’s about whether someone’s decent company and not unpleasant to be around and how they treat me that matters. I don’t agree with jumping to conclusions without evidence.

The only rationale for having friends and social life

The claim that if you don’t have a social life, there’s a danger that your partner could become your sole source of social life, all your eggs in one basket and that you’ll become needy, co-dependent and so forth. I would argue it’s not all doom and gloom. Simply being aware that this is a possibility. See below.

If I don’t have any friends, will people judge me?

Not necessarily, it’s more about how you treat people, whether you have things in common and enjoy each other’s company that matters. Some silly judgemental types might jump to conclusions about why you don’t have friends at the moment and jump to rather cynical conclusions. But hey, do you really want to know people who won’t give you the benefit of the doubt?

If I don’t have friends, does that mean it’s all doom and gloom & any relationship I do get into will be co-dependent?

The answer is no. Firstly, it’s about what you’re like as company and how compatible you are. Just by being aware of potential behaviours and patterns and what you can do should be enough.

People who judge people by their friends are the sort I don’t want to know

As I said above, I wouldn’t judge people by the number of friends they have nor jump to conclusions about what they’re like without evidence. Likewise, I’d expect a potential partner to have the same attitude as me on this issue. If there’s one thing I can’t tolerate, it’s shallowness & judgemental attitudes.

I don’t judge people by their weight either

On a slightly different tangent I will admit I find slim women hot, but I don’t judge women who’re overweight or think they’re lazy. I really detest is that attitude that overweight people are just lazy. Likewise I’d say it’s OK for women to find find muscular guys attractive, but it’s not OK to think skinny guys are lazy or inferior. I would like someone who’s got the same sort of attitude as I have. If one thing really turns me off, it’s a judgemental, snobby, UNKIND attitude. It doesn’t matter how hot a girls’ butt looks in tight leggings, those nasty attitudes will get me clicking ‘next’ every time & turn me right off. I’m all for health and fitness, but I hate snobbery and people thinking they’re ‘above’ people. Likewise I’d want a woman with the same attitude.

UPDATE; what behaviours should you be mindful of and avoid?

Having no friends is fine, as long as you don’t do behaviours;

• Accusing your partner of things they didn’t do (how many times have you heard this complaint about relationships)
• Checking your partner’s phone and texts or other devices without permission (absolutely not acceptable)
• Questioning whether they like you

In conclusion

I strongly disagree with judging people by the number of friends or whether they currently have friends and advice that says ‘girls without friends are a red flag’ makes me quite angry. Firstly, the number of friends someone has isn’t an indicator of what they’re like as a person, how they treat you is. Second, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’ all doom and gloom and that any relationship you do find will end-up as an unhealthy co-dependent dynamic. That’s cynicism. Whilst there maybe a danger of relying on your partner for all your social needs it’s something that we can be aware of.

Why are shy guys often late bloomers?

Shy and socially-anxious guys are often late bloomers. Is this because they’re less desirable, attractive or zero value? The answer is not necessarily. There are ways shyness and social anxiety can hinder getting to know people & getting your personality out there, many of the ways it can interfere with making friends also apply to dating. There are some things in this arena that shy guys have a particularly hard time with.

Key reasons shy guys are often late bloomers

It’s got very little to do with not being good enough, the following likely played a part

• Less likely to start conversations with people (key reason they may have fewer friends)
• Shyness and social anxiety interferes with conversation & building rapport; it gets in the way of ‘being oneself’ (especially people they’re attracted to)*
• Even when hitting it off with people, shy folks are often not very pro-active about arranging to meet-up, hang-out and get contact details (a big reason many shy folks frequently have fewer friends)
• They often have difficulty conveying romantic interest, this means they often miss-out on those (often fewer than average) opportunities they do get
• They very often have or may have had more limited social circles & fewer friends which reduces the opportunity for any of the above to happen; the big social catch 22*

In addition, as they get older..

• Feeling embarrassed & ashamed about lack of romantic experience leading to avoidance of dating (will I be judged for it? How will I explain it?), this can sometimes lead to avoidance of dating and of the topic of relationships (which perpetuates the situation)

Having fewer friends & limited social horizons plays a part

Having small social circles & limited social horizons (or sometimes no friends at all) plays a big part. We all know of couples who met through a friend, or friend of friend. Since most people meet their partners through friends, it’s a bit of a no-brainer that not having many in some cases (in some cases non at all) has restricted people’s romantic prospects.

Key reasons shy people struggle to make friends & may have smaller social circles

Again it’s not because they’re bad;

• Less likely to start conversations with people in the first place
• They may struggle with small talk & conversation which can get in the way
• Even when they want to meet-up, they’re often hesitant about meeting-up, getting contact info
• Avoidance of social opportunities (particularly if all that’s been available has been high-strsss settings)
• The big social catch 22; they often have fewer friends to meet new friends through

See also; why do shy people often have fewer friends?

When it comes to romantic interests, what areas do they struggle with?

• Feeling excessively inhibited around people they find attractive
• Feeling even more inhibited around girls who they know are single (after all, they’re ultra-rare right)
• When they do find someone they’re interested in, expressing and conveying that they’re interested

These are key reasons why shy guys often are in the frustrating situation of missing-out on love interests & find themselves in the so-called ‘friend zone’ situation; e.g. there’s some interest, but their love interest loses interest over time.

Common reasons love interests & opportunities may pass by

Here’s some reasons love interests they may have had love interests not go anywhere

• Not starting a conversation with women they fancy (e.g.having a crush on someone for ages but not working-up the courage to talk to them)
• Initially being able to talk to them overthinking and being too nervous to talk to them again
• Initially being able to talk to them, overthinking &being too nervous around them in future conversations
• Even when they do, not asking people out on dates
• Even when dating, not making a move even when there’s clear signals (such as putting arm around her, moving in for the kiss)

Says absolutely nothing about how desireable one is.

Other non-shyness-related reasons for having limited social horizons that can play a part

These are not specific to shy and socially-anxious guys but are mentioned because they can almost certainly be a factor for some people

• Having a job or career path that doesn’t give a lot of social opportunity to meet new people one’s age
• Having highly dispersed social circles
• Social circle getting smaller due to structural changes; people moving away, settling down and so forth
• Living in a stifling small town where it’s difficult to meet people (we’ve all heard if you want to meet new people, join clubs, classes and meets; in some situations these ways of meeting people may not be available)

See also; meeting women, circumstances that may help or hinder

How does shyness & social anxiety hinder conversation and ‘being oneself’?

• It can cause mind to go blank
• Silences; shy people can be fretting so much about what to say next that they miss out on talking points
• In public settings; being distracted by thoughts of what people around are thinking; self-consciousness
• ‘Self-censorship’; “I can’t say that, it’s too boring, not impressive enough, not cool enough” (this is a key reason shy guys might be at risk of being seen as ‘nice’ in the ‘bland’ sense of the word)

Social anxiety can be like a PRISON, many younger shy guys dream of being able to be themselves around girls they find attractive.

What about people who think shy guys are not worth knowing?

They should be told to fuck-off. They’re the judgemental little pricks not worth you knowing.

In conclusion

It’s got little to do with being undesirable or not being awesome enough. Hopefully this has shattered many misconceptions. A lot of the reasons mentioned here affect women as well & also people who’ve not struggled with shyness and social anxiety to a significant degree. There’s lots of factors and reasons people may have dating dry spells, this has been a summary of key reasons related to shyness and social anxiety. If you are a late bloomer & are afraid of being judged by it, honesty is best policy. If any of the above has played a part it’s likely plenty of people will understand.

Why do we feel jealous and envious seeing couples in public?

Are single and sick and tired of seeing all those couples around you? Do you feel or have you ever felt jealous, envious or even resentful when you see that round you in public? I want to talk about the sorts of thoughts that drive those feelings.

The most painful thoughts

• They’re ‘better’ than me
• They’re more desireable than me
• They’re more high-spec
• They’re tougher, leaner, meaner,more macho than me got more going for them
• They’re doing better than me
• They’re more high-spec than me; they’re like German engineering compared to a garage project
• They’re probably EXPERTS at social skills
• They can probably play 100 musical instruments fluently (exaggeration)
• They can proabably speak 100 languages fluently (exaggeration)

It would be nice to know that women who’re single get similar thoughts ‘she’s got a boyfriend because she’s hotter than me’.

Could there be ‘confirmation bias’?

Could you be noticing the macho guys in couples more and ignoring the geekier guys? When we’re lonely we have a tendency to focus on things that are negative

*or could you be living in a rough area?

Similarly, I wonder whether lonely single women disproportionately focus on couples where the woman is stereotypically ‘hot’ and ignore all the couples

Things that are covid-specific

The

• The fact that you can’t do anything about your situation; meeting new people isn’t an option for god knows how long
• The ‘you lucky bastard’ thing; they were lucky enough to meet someone before the crisis

“But being in a relationship is hard work”

It’s better than being FORCED to be on your own and starring at the walls. People who come up with such drivel are OUT OF TOUCH with what single people experience.

What fuels such thoughts?

You know how you’re often told ‘go work on yourself’ when you’re feeling lonely? Such comments are often come across as a) you need to do x, y, z because you’re not ‘good enough’ b) you won’t be ‘good enough’ until x, y, z, is ticked off c) Eveything you’ve been doing so far to better yourself is in vain.

How we treat lonely people; it’s role in the loneliness epidemic

People in relationships are often OUT OF TOUCH with the experiences of single people

You know how rich people often take their luxuries for-granted? You know how celebrities often take their luxurious lifestyles for-granted? It appears the same with a lot of people in relationships. If anything would make being single less painful it’s people in relationships not taking it all for-granted. A big of why people who’re single sometimes resent and feel jealous of couples is because they give the impression of being out of touch, living this luxurious lifestyle.

You lucky bastards in relationships!

Honestly, don’t take this for-granted;

• Always having someone to hang out with
• Your partner always being there for you
• Having someone to share your thoughts, dreams and feelings with
• Even better, they’re someone you’re attracted to
• You have the intimacy combined with everything else
• You feel wanted and needed
• You appreciate someone you’re attracted to finding you attractive
• You have someone to support you (though I recommend youhave people outside the relationship, most of you bastards are spoilt for choice of that anyway)
• You have that sense of comfort and security
• You find it easier to sleep

For people who want to lecture that relationships are not all dreams, I’m not stupid. Here’s an article talking about pros and cons discussing at the end what an ideal relationship would be like;

Single vs. relationships; pros and cons

The reason you’ve had someone is not so much for being awesome

Having circumstances stacked in your favour has likely helped;

• Having a big social circle
• Having friends who are well-connected
• Being in the right types of circles
• Having had regular opportunities to meet new people

Things that can make those worse (update)

1. Mostly seeing COUPLES and groups of friend in public (if confirmation bias is at play, that would be welcome to consider), wouldn’t be so bad to see other single people about
2. An advice system that says ‘you’re not good enough, you’re crap, won’t be acceptable until you become PERFECT, achieve this, this, this, this (that those people with partners got there because they met the standards of perfection, e.g. they’ ‘better’ than you, they’re Bugatti Veron’s against a Mini)
3. Those people who take relationships for granted are gifted & talented with attributes that give them MORE OPTIONS; e.g. personality traits, talents, lack of handicaps, being good at being ‘normal’; they don’t have problems like social awkwardness. Would be nice to see they’re not so perfect and turbo-charged

So in conclusion

Hopefully all is loud and clear why people who’re single might get feelings of envy, jealousy & resentment when seeing nothing but couples out in public & what things might fuel it. It is made worse by the fact that so many people in relationships are out of touch and cannot recall what it’s like to be lonely (or have never been there). You happy couples can at least show that you don’t take what you have for-granted and that you have had some of the experiences of loneliness and similar thoughts and feelings as described here.

Single vs. relationship; pros and cons

If you complain about loneliness when you’re single, you’ll probably be told to enjoy your time being single. Like with many things in life there’s pros and cons of both statuses & I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the right relationship to bring happiness & be better than being single. It can be helpful to identify some pros and cons and work out what you’d want out of one and what you’re willing to have. Here’s a list of pros and cons I’ve cobbled together followed-up by some notes & thoughts.

Pros of being single

• There can be a lot of freedom
• You may get to go out a lot
• There maybe more opportunity to try new hobbies & things
• There maybe a lot more time for self-reflection (although too much time to yourself isn’t always a good thing)

Cons of being single

• It can feel lonely, empty and depressing
• You may feel unwanted and un-needed
• You may miss out on intimacy
• It can be sexually-frustrating (worse if you don’t have friends and acquaintances of the opposite sex to hang out with)
• There’s that sad, empty feeling when you’re out and about trying to ‘enjoy your own company’ doing things yourself and see lots of happy couples (know that feeling?)
• It can make you doubt your own attractiveness, value and potential
• There can be the ever present fear of never finding love (especially if you haven’t had a relationship before)

Pros of being in a relationship

• You’ll always have someone to hang out with (who you’re also attracted to)
• Your partner will be there for you
• You’ll have someone to share your thoughts, dreams and feelings with
• You’ll have someone to share your life with
• You’ll have the intimacy & a sex life
• You’ll feel wanted and needed
• You’ll feel appreciated & valued to know that they find you attractive
• They maybe supportive of you
• There maybe a sense of comfort & security
• You’ll be more relaxed

Cons of being in a relationship

• You might not get as much freedom, you may have to consult with your partner*
• You might not get as much time to yourself (this depends on how demanding your partner is and whether they have a similar need for time alone as you do)*
• Family and friends of partner; whether you get on (this depends)
• There might be less privacy; you might have your social media and texts checked (this will depend on both on how secure they are & how much you trust each other; shouldn’t respect for each-other’s privacy be fundamental? I’d say this is more of a red flag than a con)*
• They maybe a financial burden on you (this depends on a number of factors, such as how high-maintenance or materialistic they are)*
• They maybe trying to change you*
• You may have the responsibility of kids (depends on whether it’s something you want or are ready for)*
• You may become complacent about grooming due to lack of incentive (you may put your feet up and think all the hard work is done; OK this is partly a joke taking the mick out of those people who tell you to love yourself but who let themselves go)

Notice something about the ‘cons’ list?

Have you noticed that all the ‘cons’ have a star next to them? Have you noticed that a lot of the things in the cons list are not absolutes? Some of the items depend on many factors, some of them are also things that you might think of as signs of toxic relationships.

The ideal, the best of both worlds?

It seems simple in theory, it’s just a question of finding someone with whom you can enjoy the minimum of the cons of a relationship yet keep some of the pros of being single. All the cons of relationships are all talked about by conventional articles as if they’re the absolute truth. In fact, they depend on your partner and on you & what you’d value, what your preferences are. The truth is, all the potential pitfalls of being in a relationship can be minimized & coped with (that’s what I want to believe). Have you noticed in the list above there’s no silly thing such as money, height, breast size & all that other shallow rubbish. I’ve noticed that many of the possible disadvantages of being in a relationship are conditional & depend on the person you’re with.

Trading one shitty situation for another?

You don’t want to go from unhappily single to unhappy relationship. Often people come up with this ‘relationships won’t fix you’ nonsense because they’re assuming.. you’re a naiive numpty. I think this sounds cynical and isn’t always helpful to tell people who’re unhappily single. Part of the reason for this list is to tell people this doesn’t have to be the case.

Thoughts on the reality about ‘free and single’

A lot of single people are not living the romanticized single lifestyle, going out partying every weekend, meeting loads of new people & having a life full of new sexual conquests. Even of those people who are many may not be fulfilled; those people who’re going on dates left, right and centre, they’re probably yearning for what I’ve described above.

Concluding

It’s not unreasonable to want a significant other nor is it unreasonable to be dis-satisfied and fed up with being single and. Very commonly when people complain about being unhappily single they get told that they’re better off single, that relationships won’t improve their life. I think it’s OK to romanticize the good bits but also be aware of potential pitfalls & challenges. That’s the reason for coming up with this list. Imagine a relationship where the benefits outweigh the cons? Imagine one where you also get to enjoy some of the benefits of being single too (such as having hobbies) but at the same time seeing the back of the bad bits of being single.