When you follow conversations on sites you follow and see your replies are gone, you can’t help but feel a bit hurt, that what you said was rubbish, not worth listening to. It could always be a technical issues or not knowing the reader (I would like to believe) but there’s the disturbing possibility it’s not.
Just looked at conversations and seen that a lot of my recent comments and replies are not visible/gone. I was looking forward following-up with recent conversations.
I will NEVER delete comments from my sites (who’s got time?)
Even if they’re comments that might affect my viewership. I’m not focused on views, likes & nonsense, I’m here to share my experiences. I will value any input (excepting nasty sarcasm and trolling).
If you’ve suffered from social anxiety and been chronically lonely
I’m talking about multiple sites I follow, not just social anxiety. You damn well know how signs of dislike can rock you & confirm everything you may have been thinking, make you feel like you’re a shit person not worth listening to, that you have nothing going to you, that will always be the case. I hope that’s widely-related to.
It is worse than being openly insulted
Being told you’re a fucking cunt to your face and that no-one will ever want to be your friend and no-one will like you is not as hurtful as having comments removed that you’d want to return to and carry on with. Indifference is worse than insult.
If you’re guilty (updated within hours)
That’s fine, don’t go editing and re-instating comments FFS! Don’t feel bad if you have done! We all make those mistakes. I see the ‘bigger picture;
- That one or two signs of dislike ultimately don’t mean much and are not a gauge to how well I do socially (meeting people int he first place).
- There will always be people who value my work
You’re not responsible for the feelings of recipients
You’re not responsible for my or any other blogger’s feelings, just bear in mind
- if you wear on the receiving end, put yourself in shoes
Motives for bad behaviour
If such behaviour has occurred the most likely explanation is finding the comment too deep (I’m not good at keeping things simple).
If I receive criticism..
It’s more than welcome, I’d rather have it delivered openly in the form of comments or recommendations rather than subtly. I’m tough enough to take open criticism, what I hate is indirect criticism; indifference (many will relate). Calling people names and telling them they’re shit is not nearly as hurtful as ignoring. Yes, being insulted and called names is hurtful but isn’t as bad. Giving feedback is better than giving none at all (I’m not desperate).
I’ve got great content that people will find helpful, I would like to link it up, show it to mates on my phone, to others, to employment services, to mental health services. https://neverinsilence.wordpress.com/
“you need a thicker skin” (I’ve been in your situation, I’ll cope with it better than you, you’re a pussy)
I thought this one would come up. Everyone’s had times in their lives when they’ve been isolated, not had many friends & been crazy for approval (if that hasn’t applied at least at one point in your life or you have no reference point, you’re an inhuman, electronic, hydraulic-muscled robot). This is a topic that deserves an article.
SILLY THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO STOP ME!
No-one who says you should do it this way, that way is going to stop me. As of writing there are things in the pipeline that are pending, tens of things (only thing stopping me is the need to get things researched). A lot of the posts you’ll see are in fact sheet format, except ‘rants’ and ‘personal’ categories. No amount of social pressure will make me give up, try it! Whether that’s the aim (to get people to give-up) or an unintended side effect (likely) that’s not going to stop me chucking out articles.
To round off
Honestly it can be pretty hurtful when you look at conversations you’ve contributed to and see your replies are gone. Don’t panic if you have deleted comments, just bear in mind you too could be on the receiving end. There could be an ego element, the thought that I’m too good to be leaving comments on other people’s sites or people who comment are plebs, I totally understand. Hopefully my worst fears are not confirmed, it could be part of the reader not being understood by me or working properly (I hope). I will leave this up because this situation can be genuinely hurtful & send people on a downer (only a hydraulic, mechanical machine with millions of friends won’t be rocked). Deleting comments, especially if you’ve found them helpful or liked them, not acceptable behaviour. The person on the other end is human like you. I’m not a teacher though some of this article might sound like a telling-off. It’s not, it’s all about being on the receiving end. Like a student and a teacher, I’m willing to learn.